What To Do With All of Those Quotes

Like millions of people across the globe, I love Pinterest. My love is simple. I'm a very visual person so I see, I like, I pin. This formula works tremendously well for me. Unfortunately, I use the same methodology for online shopping and as you can imagine, that's no bueno. But I digress...

In my time as a pinner, I've amassed quite the collection of quote images. Some for fitness motivation, some aspirational, some funny. Over time, I've dove into my boards to see the clever words but for the most part, once pinned, they are quickly forgotten. The true tragedy of this is I actually really love most of these quote images. They are beautifully styled. For a while, I've been looking for a way to bring these quotes more to the forefront of my life. Being a crafter, one would imagine I would print them out and have them in a clever display in my home. Unfortunately, my tastes change too frequently to commit to a certain set and by printing I'm limited to the number of images I can see.

On a typical Sunday morning, a brilliant idea occurred to me. Sunday mornings are my time for laundry and cleaning. I turn the music up and go putt around my home.  My AppleTV is always the source of my music - not only for Sundays, but for every day. Until this point, my screensaver was a system standard of floral images and I was curious if I could load my own images into the screensaver. You can do it on a laptop, why not AppleTV? Turns out you can! Thus, a dream was born!

The process is really very simple. On any Apple device (MacBook, iPad, iPhone), download the images from Pinterest into your iPhoto library. I found this part particularly fun because it felt like shopping, except I didn't have to spend any money and there wasn't any pesky buyer's remorse.

Next, create a new SHARED album. The "Shared" part is crucial. This won't work otherwise. On the iPhone and iPad, it's the middle navigation button within iPhoto with the Cloud. On MacBook, on the top navigation, select "Shared". Next, hit the "+", give it a name and start adding photos.

All set? Now, it's time to tell your AppleTV that you want to see that screensaver.

Here's your path...
Settings > Screen Saver > Photos > iCloud Photos > Select Album Name

You're all set! If your album is new, you'll need to give the iCloud time to catch up. My album ended up being about 60 pictures (can you imagine if I printed all of those?!) so it took about half an hour for the pictures to fully sync on all devices.

Play with your settings as well! I have my screensaver start after 5 minutes and have it set on "Flip-Up" style. But you do you!

Also, because I loved this idea so much, I added it as my laptop screensaver. To reset your laptop screensaver, here's your path...
System Preferences > Desktop & Screen Saver > Screen Saver > Source (change to your album)

The best part of this is how easy it is to add to it. Next time I find a quote I love, I just add it to my Shared Album and boom! It syncs everywhere.

Now, these beautiful quotables are in my face, reminding me to be ambitious, get my butt moving and stay rad.

keep life simple

Believe

Take Chance...

Just do it!

Be Rad

The Memoirs

Anyone who follows me on social media knows I took on a huge task this year.  I mean, massive task.

My grandfather spent years of his life writing his memoirs.  Using his casino souvenir pens, he wrote out his story on over 150 pages of yellow graph paper, which he stored in his wooden writing lap desk.  His penmanship, while beautiful, was small and at times very difficult to read.  My father asked me years ago to type them up so he can read them.  Life got away from me and I procrastinated from taking on the task until this year.  I really wanted to give them to my dad for Christmas this year, so I dove in head first.  

To complete the project, I had to create a gameplan.  Reading his small penmanship was exhausting and some of the stories were emotionally taxing.  To ensure I finished by my deadline, I put together a working schedule, dedicating hours on Monday and Thursday nights to transcribing.  However, the bulk of my work was done on Sunday mornings.  Typically, my Sundays looked like this.

Being a lover of history, I wanted to ensure his story was told.  This meant transcribing precisely as he wrote - poor spelling and grammar included.  He was a product of his time and as frustrating as it can be to trudge through "bad writing", it was beautiful to see him for who he was.  

My grandfather passed away when I was 12 years old and I was excited to learn more about who he was as a person - not the caricature of a grandfather I had stored in my memory.  What I found was so much more extraordinary than I had expected.  Some of his stories were incredibly entertaining (i.e. my grand-grandmother chasing someone with a broom) and suspenseful (i.e. a number of brawls).  Others were downright concerning (i.e. he didn't like champagne) or terrifying (i.e. he almost lost an arm as a child).

Some stories, particularly the chapters about his first few months in the army, required liquid reinforcements.  

However, I enjoyed growing to know him through the most intimate of forms.  I learned more from his writing than I did from his words.  His tone perfectly matched his speaking cadence.  At times, I could hear his voice in my head, reading the words to me.  He struggled to spell and very rarely applied the punctuation rules of dialogue correctly.  "Suprised" and "surprised" both appeared in his writing. He forced me to type out words I would never dream of saying aloud and challenged me to become familiar with military terminology, which was such a part of his world he very rarely felt inclined to explain.  His penmanship was enviable one day and a clear struggle for him the next, usually depending on the subject matter and the level of anxiety he had with the story.  He was a man of his times and his education - and I adore him.

A wave of sadness came over me when I finally finished transcribing in mid-November.  Spending Sundays with Grandpa's story had become a welcomed and anticipated part of my routine.  I had to shift gears into project completion and it was emotionally jarring.  All good things come to an end and though I wanted more stories from my grandpa, I had to come back to the real world and my original goal.  

I secretly contacted family members to collect old pictures of my grandfather.  

*Thank you again to everyone who helped me.  You have no idea how much it meant!*

What I didn't tell anyone was my ultimate goal was to publish my grandfather's memoirs into a real book.  I had found a distribution company called Lulu.com that did it affordably and decided to give it a shot.  After hours and hours of formatting the typed memoirs into their template, inserting pages, fixing headers and footers, designing a cover and triple checking everything, I sent off the manuscript to be print just in the knick of time.

The first printed, hardback edition arrived to my doorstep and you better believe I broke down in tears.  I did it.  I finally finished Grandpa's memoirs and it was perfect.

Thankfully, I only had to wait a few days to give it to my dad for Christmas.  We were celebrating early with the family and I was so grateful to not have to keep the secret much longer.  My dad was handed his white and silver wrapped gift.  I could tell by the look on his face that he had no idea what was inside.  My mom and my cousin, the only two privy to my plan, looked on with giant smiles on their faces.  I sat in deep anticipation, not breathing.  As he popped open the box and pulled away the tissue, I saw the look of "Oh great, a book" come across his face.  But as he read the cover, a glimmer of recognition flashed through and then... the tears came.  I bolted up the stairs to give him a big hug.  After a few exchanges of gratitude and chit chat, I fully explained to my dad the magnitude of what I had done.

Not only were the memoirs finally typed up...
And in a fully printed hardback book...

This book was properly copyrighted...

His daugher is now a registered publisher...

And 15 years after his death, his father is an author...

As he should be.

Yes sir, I won Christmas this year.

The best news you'll get today is you too can have your own copy!  Order directly through my distribution company through the links below.

Hardback, $22.50

 

Paperback, $12.00

 If you have any questions or would like a bulk order, please feel free to contact me here.

 Again, thank you to everyone for your encouragement and assistance in bringing this project to life.  I could never properly express my gratitude to you all but know that your efforts have made all the difference.

Over... but not forgotten...

When two people choose to get a divorce, it is not uncommon to hear the phrase, "It's for the better."  Whether the two were motivated by financial, ambitious or romantic difference, no one makes the decision to get a divorce as a way to impose emotional self-mutilation.  The decision is made to move both individuals down positive life paths.

However, all too often, you hear the words, "Good riddance" follow conversations about why the two parted.  And that makes me really sad.

While my divorce from my husband... ex-husband?... is a positive life move for both him and me, I have no regrets about our relationship nor do I have a desire to erase our past from my memory.  This is the key reason why I chose not to switch back to my maiden name.  I am no longer the person I was prior to my marriage and I do not want to erase it from my memory.

I am a better person because of my marriage to my husband (ex-husband? That feels weird to say).

1.  Through my marriage, I was able to identify characteristics within myself that I dislike.  The key word there is "I".  My marriage taught me so much about contextualizing changes, fighting fairly and putting someone before myself.  My management of these situations has changed the way I handle not only my personal relationships but also my professional relationships.  Being able to step outside one's self and see the picture from all angles is a hard skill to master.  I'm working on it, but my marriage definitely put me on the right path.

2.  My husband's (my ex-husband's) unfailing faith in my abilities helped me launch The Creative Cubby.  Sure, masked by love, every creation is the best thing they've ever seen.  However, he gave me the confidence to put myself out in the world and brace myself for criticism... oh, and praise.  When I said, "The worst that can happen is no one will read my blog," he responded, "No, the worst that can happen is you will hate writing your blog."  He changed my focus to what I get out of it rather than what others expect.  He gave me the extra confidence I needed to take that next leap and I will be forever grateful.

3.  We were and still are great friends.  Regardless of the reasons that led us to getting a divorce, we are amazing friends to each other.  He will always be my platonic soulmate.  We are so much the same person it's almost scary.  Outside of our ability to amicably split Gummy Bears and our mutual love of The West Wing, we supported each other endlessly.  If one of us was having trouble at work or wanted to make a life change, we talked it out, we analyzed, and we helped each other to make the decision we truly desired.  We also aren't afraid to be silly with each other and make each other laugh with historical references.

I could go on and on, but those are my top three.  My marriage is over and that's okay.  Am I bitter?  No.  Am I happy?  Getting there.  Will we stay friends?  I sure hope so.  The exact reasons for our divorce are, obviously, very private, but regardless of those reasons, I never want to forget that I was married to him.  He was a positive part of my life and hopefully, we can continue the trend.  I will continue to learn and grow and I'm grateful to our relationship for putting me on the right path.

It may be over... but I have no desire to forget.

Fighting like an Adult

Every once in a while, I forget how to fight like an adult.  My feelings get hurt and automatically, the gauntlet gets thrown.  Whoever I'm arguing with doesn't stand a chance.  They just have to stand there in their wrongness and be wrong, because I'm right and even if I'm wrong, I'm still right.  Insane?  You betcha.  Trust me, my lack of rationality bothers me more than it bothers you.  How?  Because I can't shut it off.

When I'm upset, I get verbal diarrhea.  I feel the deep burning desire to over explain the situation so no doubt can be left about my intentions, feelings or perspective.  I want to make sure I'm heard and understood.  It is often too late that I slow down and listen to the other person.  By then my assumptions have been made, opinion formed and stance declared.  Often, too late, I realize I was wrong or out of line.

I love to be right.  Who doesn't?  I'm a fairly intelligent person who annoyingly loves to assert her knowledge on others.  Unfortunately, life is a constant string of events where one is either right or wrong.  One cannot always be right, just as one cannot always be wrong.  However, one can be a stubborn pain the ass 100% of the time.  That would be me.

Only recently have I started to swallow my pride and say the treasured words, "I'm sorry. I was wrong."  Whether the other party accepts (or acknowledges) my apology or not is another topic but in apologizing, I have won the battle against my ego.  That, my friends, is huge.

While my style of fighting has evolved quite a bit in the past ten years or so, I still have a ways to go.  I no longer yell or slam doors.  I'm cutting back on the sarcasm (a true struggle) and I try really, really hard not to name call.  Sometimes I slip up and that's okay.  But I need to focus on being more sensitive to the situation at hand.  At the risk of sounding cliche, I don't need to show up to every fight I'm invited to, even if I am right.  I also need to provide every situation the fair chance to not be a fight to begin with by avoiding assumptions.

I should have learned this by now and unfortunately, a recent event has reminded me that I haven't.  I'm still growing up into the adult I want to be and that doesn't include hurting my friends and family.  One step at a time, I'll get there.  I promise.

Weathering a Storm...

Greatness

Success

Be in love...

Never Miss a Good Opportunity...

New Year's Resolutions 2014

resolution - the act determining upon an action or course of action, method, procedure, etc.

I have never made a New Year's Resolution they way most people do.  I don't make grand promises to myself about losing weight, making more money or being a better person.  Why?  Because these grand statements never come with a plan of action.  If you resolve to change something, you also have to have a plan.  Otherwise, your gym membership goes unused and those books on your Amazon.com wishlist never get purchased.  

Instead, every year I make a list of Personal Goals.  {You can find a free printable list here.} 
I find that I consistently want the same things from year to year.  I want to read more and see more movies.  I want to try new foods and see new places.   However, I would very rarely achieve these things because I didn't have a plan.  So, let's make a plan.

This year, I'm dividing my resolutions up into the categories of my blog.  This way you can keep me accountable!

Beauty
1.  Find my signature hair style.  I feel like I'm almost there.  Aaaalmost.  This year will be the year.
2.  Get more manicures.  I occasionally get pedicures with my mother-in-law and do my nails at home, but there's nothing quite like getting your nails cleaned up professionally.
3.  Try out at least 3 Pinterest Beauty Tips.  I pin all day but let them go to waste.

Books
1.  Game of Thrones series by George R. R. Martin
2.  Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
3.  Read 4 other books. 

Decor
1.  Create a chalkboard for our front living/dining room.
2.  Create pegboards for my craft room.
3.  Hang more pictures of family and friends around the house.

Fashion
1.  Buy a new work bag.  This seems really simple but I've been carrying around the same big black Target tote bag for at least 8 years.  I want to upgrade but I always find myself looking at cheap bags.  I need to make an investment.
2.  Invest in my wardrobe and accessories.  More isn't necessarily more.  I'm finally fed up that cheap clothing and accessories are ruined or worn out very quickly.  Again, it's time to invest. 
3.  Clear out my closet.  Time to ditch items that no longer fit my body or sense of style.

Fitness
1.  Use every workout DVD in my collection.  I seriously have DVDs I've never played that I have had for at least 5 years.  Pointless.
2.  Run a 5k.  You have to start somewhere, right?
3.  Continue on my path of working out 3 times a week.  Maintaining my workout schedule is the best thing I can do for myself right now.  

Food 
1.  Try eggplant.
2.  Make soup from scratch.
3.  Make duck.

Humor
1.  Find and share one humorous article, video, etc a week.  My stress level goes through the roof if I'm not giggling.  Let's make this a team effort.

Movies
1.  Finally see "Lincoln".
2.  Finally see "Gigi".
3.  Finally see "An American in Paris". 

T.V.
1.  Get caught up on "Scandal". Totally addicted - need to get up to speed.
2.  Write at least 2 blogs a month about what I'm watching.  I know you probably don't care what I'm watching, but I'm spending my time on it, so I might as well make it feel worth it.
3.  Watch the news 2 times a week.  I usually avoid the news but it makes me feel disconnected from my world and community.  

Web
1.  Blog and share fun internet finds at least once a week.  I typically do this on my personal Facebook page, but you guys aren't there, so I'll share here.
  
Wisdom
1.  Share it, live it.  This is the only one that I'm going to be vague on.  I will only post when inspiration strikes.

There you have it.  I will use the tag "2014Resolution" to keep myself accountable.  Wish me luck!

What are you putting on your list this year?

 

7 Pieces of Relationship Advice

I'm not a relationship expert.  I'm not a psychologist, counselor, or anything of the like.  What I am is a listener.  I've listened to the people I respect and have exemplified successful relationships throughout my life and have taken their advice to heart.  I am exceedingly fortunate to have had a glorious number of gems sent my way and thus I pass them to you.

1.  Me, We, Them
When I was a sophomore in college, my uncle gave me the ultimate life advice - hence, it is number 1 on the list.  I was talking his head off about school, jobs, and boys.  Oh, boys.  Relationships were complicated in college.  Guys didn't get that girls just want stability and someone to hang out with.  No one likes going to movies alone or having to find someone to hang out with on Saturday nights.  Seriously.  I went on and on about the guys in my life and how none of them seemed to get it.  As I finished my long-winded rant, he said to me:

Don't be in such a hurry.  Enjoy the "me" time right now.  Because when you find that special guy, it's all about "we".  Then you'll fall in love, get married and before you know it, you will have kids and then... it's all about "them".  You won't ever get this "me" time back.

My nineteen year old self was stopped in my tracks.   He was absolutely, positively right.  I wasn't spending enough time enjoying just being me.  I never believed in "finding" myself, but it did make sense to enjoy who I was at that moment.  I was nineteen.  I was able to shape my life and my environment into whatever I wanted it to be.  I could see whatever movie I wanted when I wanted, read books for hours on end, watch crappy television without having to compromise, spend time with whichever friends I wanted without having someone in tow, eat cereal for dinner without having to worry about another mouth to feed.   I started going to movies solo and spending my Sunday in coffee shops reading.  I lived in a one bedroom apartment with my cat and took yoga without a friend.  I spent time getting to know, love and enjoy me.   

And... again, he was right.  I found the right guy (just so happened to be one of the guys I was originally complaining about to my uncle).  We fell in love.  We got married.  Now, every night, we have to compromise on dinner.  If we make plans, we don't ask for permission but we do have to "check in".  We build our calendars and our lives around each other.  Don't get me wrong - I love my husband and marriage dearly.  I also very much so love this stage in my life, but I don't think I would had I not taken the time to enjoy who I was as a person when I was truly independent - just me.  Learn to love yourself in your current situation.

2.  Don't Rush Things
When you do find your special guy (or girl, for that matter), take it easy.  Take the time to soak in and enjoy the little steps and stages along the way.  We all want to know we are loved and that where we are spending our time and energy is "worth it", but if you rush, you'll miss all the good parts.  You'll miss the butterflies waiting for their phone call and the rush you feel when they reach for your hand.  The magic of a new relationship is special and short lived - savor it.  If you are lucky, the new relationship will transform into a stable relationship with new anticipations and thrills, but don't skip the beginning. 

3.  Never Leave Angry
Everyone fixates on never going to bed angry, however, I think leaving angry is often overlooked.  I don't care how angry you are - never leave while you're angry.  Don't walk out the door to "take a drive" or "a walk".  Don't run to your friend or parent's house.  Don't leave angry.  The minute you walk out that door, you are leaving your significant other with a feeling of abandonment.  You will break the trust that they are safe with you and you will stick it out with them. 
Don't do it.  Period.

4.  Name Calling is a No-No, You Jerk.
Idiot.  Jerk.  Jackass.  Asshole.  Stupid.  Immature.  Moron.  Bitch.  Liar.  Child.  Socrates once said, "When the debate is lost, slander is the tool of the loser."  Whether or not you have a valid argument or you are "right", the minute a hurtful name comes out of your mouth you have lost the battle.  Name calling achieves absolutely nothing.  It offends your opponent and causes them to emotionally shut down.  Once you call them an asshole, you have purposefully hurt them, so why would they want to fix whatever issue is at-hand with someone who would hurt them intentionally?  Think about it.  Name calling destroys trust and security within a relationship.  If you've called someone a liar in the heat of the moment, how can they ever know for certain you believe them?  The trust and security to be themselves is gone knowing you view them as a moron or a jerk. 

5.  Stay You to Complete "Us"
You probably hear this all the time - and that's probably because it's true.  Stay you.  If you watch cartoons when he's not around, don't hide it - watch them with him.  Go out with your friends.  Maintain your hobbies.  Keep your goals in focus.  Listen to your own music (it's okay, I promise).  Be yourself.  If you start to conform and morph into a female version of him, what are you bringing to the table?  It's one thing to bond over your mutual love of football and craft beers.  It's also a good idea to learn to appreciate or join him in his hobbies and likes (I've recently learned to golf so I can play with my husband).  It's an entirely different thing to 1) lie about your tastes to get the guy in the first place and 2) to become a "mini-me" version of him.  Stay you.
Seriously, it's really hard to dig yourself out of this hole in a relationship.

6.  Love isn't a sport - Don't keep score.
Do you care how many times he's bought you flowers?  Do you care how many times you've done the dishes and taken out the trash?  Do you care how many times you've picked date night and he hasn't?
If the answer is yes, then I'm sorry, you're not ready for a relationship.
Harsh, I know, but relationships are not about keeping score.  Giving in a relationship, doing nice things for each other, is about keeping the relationship happy for both of you.  I cook for my husband because it gives me great satisfaction to see how impressed he is.  He buys me flowers because he loves to see me smile.  I'm not saying you should give, give, give blindly and expect nothing in return.  (You should have expectations and clearly voice them early in your relationship.)  I am saying that I'm not going to hold it over my husband's head that 3 of the last 5 times I've taken out the trash.  If I buy him a gift, it's a gift - I don't expect one in return.  Keeping score is toxic.  Once you've allowed it to infiltrate the way your relationship operates, you kill the spontaneity and respect you and your significant other possess.

7.  Continue to Fall in Love
This past year, I received the ultimate love advice from my grandfather (I have really amazing men in my life).  He asked me how my first two years of marriage were going and when I responded with, "Amazing.  We continue to grow and I'm pretty sure I love him more now than I did when we got married," all he did was smile.  After a contemplative pause, he said to me:

That's wonderful to hear.  You know what the secret to a long strong marriage is?  Continue to fall in love with each other.  Who you are today will not be who you are in 5, 10, 15 years.  You will grow and change as life changes.  Always be courting each other and always continue to fall in love... 

Mind. Blown.  I was stunned.  Legitimately stunned.  I will not be the same person I am now when I have kids, or they grow into teenagers, or they go off to college, or when they have kids.  I will change.  My priorities, my perspective and my personality will change.  I will grow up... I will become different.  Maybe in minor ways and maybe in major ways... but I will change.  How would I feel if my husband didn't make an effort to love the person I was on that day?  Not too dandy, I tell you.  I was so blown away that I shared this advice with my husband.  I asked what he thought and all he could say is, "Smart.  It's very smart."

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Relationships are work.  It's the most important work you'll do in your life.  Be fair and loving to yourself and others.  

Learn From Them

Two Monks and Water

Every once in a while, I come across an anecdote that makes me really think.  I think this is brilliant and therefore am passing it along to you.

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One monk meets another monk in the hall of a monastery near a fountain.  The first monk asks the second, "Is that water cold?"

The second monk responds by pushing the first into the fountain.

The first monk clamors to his feet, sopping wet.  "What did you do that for?"  

The second monk states, "I could have told you all day if I thought the water was cold, but this way, now you know."  

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That, my friends, is wisdom.